Grooming is the process of a predator building a relationship, a sense of trust or an emotional connection between themselves and a young person or child for the sole purpose of abuse, exploitation and/or manipulation. The end result of grooming can be a child being sexually abused or trafficked. Contrary to popular opinion, a groomer or groom can be anyone of any age or gender, and the process can take place over a short amount of time. These individuals are immensely skilled and know what to say and when to say it and what to do and when to do it to create unquestioned trust. We at Saved In America put together the following a breakdown of some signs of grooming to look for broken down in an easy-to-remember acronym:

The Five Steps: G.R.O.O.M

G: Gain Trust

Trust is gained in a few common ways. First, the groomer, predator or pimp identifies a problem the child is having either at school, online or at home. They then befriend them with common interest and flattery. Finally, they open up private communication lines, so they can further substantiate their trustworthiness.

R: Require Intoxication

The next most common step of the grooming process is establishing an addiction. This is important because the predators and pimps who are part of active street gangs and sex trafficking, prison gangs and cartels want to create addicts who will do anything for their next hit. Increasing the level of a victim’s intoxication and addiction will make them more willing to obey orders and suggestions. 

O: Operate From Alienation of Family & Friends

The process of grooming is impossible if the predator is unable to get the victim alienated from their loving family members and friends. Groomers can use all sorts of tactics to create this alienation from using hip hop music or rap, pushing the gangster lifestyle or overemphasizing minor family or friend issues, making the victim think they are unwanted or unloved by those who care the most. 

O: Open to Immorality

The fourth step of the five-step grooming process is convincing the victim that values, morals and laws are unloving. Friends, parents and family members just don’t want them to have any fun in life. They want to hold them back from enjoying things. This step is when a groomer convinces their victim that an immoral lifestyle is okay. 

M: Money

As in any other area of life, money talks. Money becomes the most important factor to the victim once they reach this level of the grooming process. Money serves as a way for someone to tell them they love them. It’s all about making money. Finally, once this is all established, the groomer has successfully convinced the victim that there is no one who loves them the way they do. Not their family, friends or anyone else. 

Bottom Line: Know the Signs

The five steps listed above are the most commonly occurring strategies used by predators or pimps to successfully coerce their victims through the grooming process. Many parents are shocked that their kids were able to be groomed, thinking they would surely never fall prey to such tactics. However, predators are highly skilled at grooming and manipulation and can turn even the most well-behaved, happy child into a victim. That is why it’s so important parents know the signs of grooming. Memorize them, then look for them and recognize them for what they are, strategies to rip a child away from the comfort and safety of home.